Learning to Let Go
by Valie
Summary: I wrote this 2 years ago. The last SM fic I've completed, come to think of it. Anyway, this is a fic from Hotaru's POV about Chibiusa. See Chibiusa dies and... well, you read it.
1. Part 1

**Learning to Let Go**

Amidst one of the worst battles we had ever fought, I learned to grow up. Though I was always mentally mature, I really never grasped onto it's meaning. I knew two things: I had a job as a senshi and I had my love, Chibiusa.

However, one battle changed my life, at least for the time being. The enemy was extremely powerful and he had the queen imprisoned. The only one with power equal to the queen was of course, Chibiusa. The problem was, she would have to sacrifice her life so the power could reach its maximum and most lethal form. Sadly, I was the only one able to kill her so her power could be used. Like a safety, you could say.

I didn't want to do it, but it had to be done. She held me tightly and kissed me softly. Tears in both our eyes. She whispered a good-bye and I quickly plunged my glaive into her chest. A massive white light shot into the sky, it hit the enemy with such force and speed that he never saw it coming. He was gone and the universe was safe for the time being. But she was gone as well.

My glaive chattered to the ground as I fell to my knees. A heaviness in my heart. I couldn't look at her body. It would be like staring down the barrel of a gun as it was being shot. The only thing I felt was a horrible feeling of regret and sadness.

I cried that night. An endless stream of tears. The tears stained my pillow the way her death had stained my soul. Somehow I was fortunate enough to fall asleep. Sleep, my only escape from all this pain. All these emotions. I dreamed that night.

Strangely, she was there, in my dream. Her pink hair flowed freely down her back. Her eyes were sparkling with a touch of sadness. I reached out for her and she leaned into my touch. I could feel the soft, velvet of her skin. Her eyes closed for a moment and slowly my hand pulled away.

Her eyes gazed up at me while tears of love spilled down her cheeks. I embraced her and apologized. She said not to worry. It was meant to be like this. She'll be back - one day. Now it was my turn to cry.

She cupped my face between her hands and said not to worry. Kissing away my tears, I basked in the warmth of her being. I wanted to hold her forever and never let her go, but I knew that it wasn't possible. She was dead and this was only a dream.

When I awoke the next morning, I cried again. Setsuna was by my side before I was even aware of it. She comforted me to the best of her abilities. When I stopped my sobbing and dried my face, she told me that my future would be spent with my love. Smiling, I gave her a small kiss on the cheek and joined her for breakfast.


	2. Part 2: It All Comes Back

**Learning to Let Go: It All Comes Back**

Years passed by, I witnessed the rise Crystal Tokyo from afar. I wasn't really allowed to leave my isolation. Though if a fight arose that I had to help with, I was there, but that was the only time I was really allowed to leave my isolated place. I now understand how Setsuna must've felt all those years she spent standing guard by the Gate of Time by herself.

Coincidentally, Setsuna talked to me from time to time. Probably because she best understood the loneliness I was enduring. She always informed me of important events that happened in universe. One day, she told me the one thing I had longed to hear for years, the queen was pregnant. My heart soared with the good news but I knew I had to wait. I had to wait seventeen more years before I could see her again. During this time, I occupied myself with memories of the past. A silly thing to do when you think about it, for I had more than a thousand years to think about them. To be honest though, that wasn't the case. I spent all those years in somewhat of a dream state that I was only allowed away from for a fight.

Seventeen years came and went like magic. My plan was to try and see her for her seventeenth birthday. However, there was a new threat to Earth that needed my help. Upon my arrival, I learned that the new terror was a descendant of the man that Chibiusa had sacrificed her life to kill all those years ago. It scared me. I was fearful that she would have to fight again and I would have to kill her again.

I broke down into tears. I was frighten by the thought of losing my love again so soon. The other scouts knew this and they pulled together. Somehow, I pulled myself together and performed a powerful attack that no one knew possible of me. He didn't go down without unleashing one last attack on us. I took the blunt of his attack and that's all I remembered about the fight.

When I awoke, I was falling into a darkness that seemed surreal. I hit the ground with a soft thud. Surprised, I blinked my eyes a few times before I slowly rose to my feet and looked around. My eyes fell upon my love, Chibiusa.

She was there, waiting for me. Her arms were wide opened and I ran to her. Her embraced cured my lonely heart and bruised body. I cried like I hadn't since her death.

After some time, I looked up at her. The same beauty that captured my heart was still there. Her eyes shined brightly. She leaned forward and kissed away a tear from my cheek. I smiled.

"Is this a dream? ," I asked as she moved away.

She pinched my forearm and I yelped in pain.

"Well, if that hurted, then I guess not," She giggled.

I giggled along with her. How I missed her laugh and just her presence. For the first time since that day so long ago, I was happy. I looked into her eyes and she smiled at me. She might have been dead for a long time, but she still had all her memories of me.

"Chibiusa? Will we be together for the end of time?"

"Of course we will be silly. It'll take more than dying to keep me from you."

"That's good then. It hurts when you're not here though."

"Sorry, but we have out jobs to do, even if sacrificing ourselves is part of it."

I nodded and laid my head on her shoulder. As I slowly fell asleep in her warm embrace, the exhaustion of everything, I barely felt the small kiss she placed on my head. I faintly heard the words, "I'll love you forever, Hotaru."

**The End**


End file.
